I have often thought , "Wouldn't it be great if everyone was HONEST for just one day?". I don't mean honest like handing in that $10 note you find on public transport or telling your parents where you REALLY went. I don't even mean things like telling people what you think without any inhibitions. I mean an honesty that goes even deeper than that. To be honest with yourself to that degree where you can actually see inside yourself - see the REAL you. I was thinking that last night when I said to myself, "Are YOU being honest with YOURSELF?". It is always best to ask yourself somethings before blaming others...
I thought about that some more. There are so many times in a day when I think that I am walking around with a mask. This is not to say that I am being superficial. This is about being dishonest without realising that you are being dishonest. It is when you put on that mask but don't realise that you have it on. So much so, that the mask and you become one and you are stuck in a position where you can no longer differentiate between the two.
I often think about just how honest I am being with myself. It scares me. I often see that I am not perfect. I do alot of "dishonest" things. I will ask myself to laugh when I had rather cry. I will cry when I know that it is no big deal. I will yell at someone I love and I will be friendly with a perfect stranger. I will tell myself that nothing is the matter even when I know that something is. I fool myself constantly.
People can know me for years without knowing a thing about me - and that is the case with alot of people in today's world. I have known people for years - and yet, I know I don't know them at all. I don't think there is one other person in this whole world who I TRULY know. It is not a stark realisation as such either. Even those people that I truly love, I know that I will never really know them. I know a lot of things about them - like their favourite colour, their topics of interests, what makes them tick and can even predict how they will react in a particular situation. Yet, I will never know exactly what they are thinking or feeling on the inside.
Those people who are truly honest with themselves (and I beleive that they do exist), are those with FAITH. Whether it be faith in GOD, themselves, or someone or something else, it is about having something to beleive in. Something to live for and live by. When you lose that faith, or when that faith is shaken, that is when you lose yourself.
As a child I was raised to pray for only one thing - "to have the courage to always do what is right". With time, the true meaning of that prayer was lost, but today I pray for that - honestly.
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