All of a sudden, I seem to have all this time on my hands! I don't know where all this time was before! I am still at the hospital for as long as I used to be. I am still doing stuff for the same social groups and yet I find that I have a lot of time to do things I want. A change in attitude or personality perhaps?
A couple of days ago I was feeling extremely lucky - a bit like the opposite of when I was drowning myself in self pity really. I am doing all the things I want to do. I realised that I am at a point in my life when I can do what I want. I am studying what I want and love my work and my work mates. I can come home and watch TV, play games and read books. I don't have to worry about anything - cooking, cleaning, washing, paying bills... THAT IS LUCKY!
I have also realised that I can now do all those things I have wanted to do but couldn't either because I was too lazy to make the effort, or did not have the "time". When I joined the gym last year, I didn't think that I would keep to it. Yet, it has made me realise that if you actually get off your backside, you can make time for MANY things! Last week I decided to join a "Kathak" class. Not because I want to perform or anything like that, but because I know I am too old to learn anything professionally now. However, I enjoyed it and its nice to be able to do something you enjoy.
I feel like I am living the life that I want and I want to enjoy it while I can because I know that this won't last forever. I am not being pessimistic - just realistic.
So why was I indulging in self pity????
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